Colorado Diet

One of the greatest joys of going home to your parents' house is the ability to open a fully-stocked refrigerator, and eat whatever looks good. Most college students would attest to that statement. In Provo,  I eat a steady diet of Oatmeal Squares cereal and cheese sticks, so this semester, especially, I was looking forward to a healthy variety of fuel. However, this morning, as I was rummaging through my parents' pantry, I was hit with a bit of a predicament.


Let me tell you a little about my parents:
My parents go through phases.

They pick something and go ALL IN, whatever it is. They buy every book on the subject, read every article, go to every big site, join every club. They become decently good experts on any given subject, and then move on to the next phase.

I could write a book about the different phases, but some highlights include
-electric train modeling
-horseback riding
-fly-fishing
-rock tumbling/polishing
-motorcycling (mom wasn't thrilled about that one)
-bird watching (also probably not my mom's favorite thrill)
-have-a-heart squirrel hunting
-gardening
-barbecuing
-photography/underwater photography
-open water canoeing
-tennis playing
-scuba diving

Not to mention the many diets they have come in and out of:
-Gluten-free
-Dairy-free
-Sugar-free
-Vegetarian
-Vegan
-Paleo (i.e. basically veggies, nuts, and meat)

and various combinations of the six.

Which leads me to the point of this story.

I have no idea what this current diet phase is called, but when I opened the pantry door to look for breakfast, I was greeted with this:

My predicament was that I didn't even know how to consume any of this... 

I finally saw something that looked like cereal. And settled on pouring organic almond milk on top.

I'm going to eat my bowl of Veganic Sprouted Ancient Grain Flakes now.