there is a MONSTER in my refrigerator

a few nights ago, my little ones had their opening night, and did so marvelously well, i could have literally burst with pride! But I was exhausted. So I sat down on the couch to check the nightly news (mostly because my dad had the remote. I was hoping for 30 rock). At about 11:00, I realized I could not move. So I just gave into the luring encirclement of the cushions, and fell asleep.

at about 3:00 am, My eyes half-way glued shut with the make up from the night before, I woke up with a kink in my neck, having been swallowed by the couch.  I decided to make the trek up to my own bed. On my way I stopped at the refrigerator (of course! who wants to make a trek without a snack?)

As I opened the door I heard a "bllzmzmz" and several thunks one right after another. To my horror, I realized there was a monster in my fridge. I immediately sobered up out of my 3:00am daze, and with great bravery and skill I... shut the door!

OK. so i'm a bit of a coward. (but you would be too if you heard what i did!)

I finally decided if there was something live in my fridge, I should probably get it out. So I pulled hard with the courage of a warrior, and THERE IT WAS. Sitting on a tupperware container of coleslaw with disgusting fuzzy arrogance:




this is probably closer to what I saw. none-the-less, despicable.  




This is what I saw:




EEEEEIIWWWWWW

This evil creature scared the crumb cakes out of me. just look at it's creepy little body: 

I gently lifted the container of coleslaw to get it out of my fridge, and it ATTACKED ME. I swear, it's little claws reached out to start to wring my neck. So I dropped the container in a panic, and may or may not have broken the top and splattered coleslaw on the kitchen floor. 

then i ran away. 

i stumbled into my bed refusing to turn on any lights, avoiding the possibility that the creature follow me, and proceeded to have nightmares that crawly things were buzzing on top of my skin in bed.

The next morning i saw the beast on my bathroom window. there it was--not moving--for the first time. I had a wide open shot. what I wanted to do was smoosh the little monstrosity, so that it might never bug me again (ha ha bug me--get it?)

But instead of giving into my murderous instincts, I felt a wash of mercy, and opened the window, and shuddered as I pushed the creepy little thing outside, and spared his life.

I still have nightmares about this evil creature, but i've come to terms, and try and keep the refrigerator door closed at night.